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When Colleen sent me a text saying that they had brought us a back "little something" from their trip, I never expected a HUGE bag filled with goodies! The last trip they went on they brought us back cheeses, candies, a huge salmon fillet, sauces, dressing, cookbooks, and more!This time they went overboard again! They brought us more delicious gourmet cheeses, gourmet mustard's, pancake mixes, bbq sauce and more! They even brought back bath salts just for me! Then at the bottom of the bag was an envelope with JDog, Bailia, and Koda written on it. Koda ripped into it with excitement! Inside was the sweetest note for the kids thanking them for getting their mail while they were gone, and for bringing them food all the time. It said that they were going to buy a gift for each of them, but figured they would like to have money instead. Inside the card was a twenty dollar bill for each of the kids with their names on it.Koda looked up in shock saying holy cow TWENTY DOLLARS!!??!! This is too much money! I should go and give them a hug!Bailia couldn't believe her eyes and said why would they give us SO much money?! Wait for me Koda, I'm coming with you!They ran right over and talked with them for a few minutes. They came home still rambling that they couldn't believe how much money they had given them, and what they planned to do with their new found riches. All of a sudden Koda said I forgot to give them a hug, and ran out the door back to their house! He came back smiling telling me that they loved his hug! Jdog was at gym when Colleen had brought the package over. So when he got home I let him read the card and gave him his twenty. He was as shocked as the rest of us. He said they shouldn't have done this! Getting their mail isn't a big deal. Why would they give us so much?! So after he ate his dinner he went over to thank them. He came back and said Colleen wasn't home so I couldn't give her a hug, but John answered the door and I gave him knuckles and told him thank you.John and Colleen have become like another set of grandparents for us. The kids love them, we love them. I am SO grateful to live by such great people, that we will be friends with for life! Even though it isn't enough, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts!
Friday after school (and golf lessons & hair cuts) we loaded up the truck and headed to Fish Lake for some fishing, relaxation, and fun. We accomplished all three and had a blast doing so! From the beginning there were memories made-from moldy bathrooms and hair covered sheets, to reeling in so many fish at one time that we probably looked like a three ring circus trying to keep everything under control! We stayed up until midnight the first night playing "scum", we ate nonstop, relaxed while fishing enjoying the BEAUTIFUL scenery, and had a great time! On Saturday, when we got back from the day on the lake, Adam took one look at me and started laughing. My face was SO sunburned that you could see the exact outline of my sunglasses! My sunscreen must not have had a chance, spending all day on the water! Every time he looked at me while playing scum again that night, he would laugh. My lips are blistered, and my nose is sore, but it was worth it & we can't wait to plan another trip! 
I don't know why the obsession started, but Jaden has wanted a desk for weeks now. Maybe longer. He wanted to have a place, besides the kitchen counter, to do his homework. He wanted his own space, that was quiet and organized. It took a little convincing, since we have VERY limited space as is, but I finally gave in. I was in making dinner when I heard Koda say~Holy cow, Jdog, you might want to come and see this! Then I heard a loud YES, followed by Jdog running up behind me, lifting me up in the air and twirling me around! He said thank you at least a thousand times, as I twirled and wondered how my little Jdog could be getting so big!?! Jdog works so hard at school, and at his after school activities, and he doesn't get home until 8:00 most nights. So, by the time he eats dinner and has a shower, it is bedtime. Since he is such an early bird, he can now get his homework done in the mornings. 
As Koda said the morning prayer before school the other day, he paused. I looked over at him, wondering if he didn't know what to say next. He was wiping his eyes and then said, and please bless that mom won't be sad home by herself . . . I LOVE this boy!
School has been in session for seven days now. Of those seven days, Bailia has worn Koda's blue gym shorts three of those days. We started with the first day of school outfit, then the blue shorts on the second day, and the third! I ask myself why I even bother buying new clothes for her? She has an entire closet filled with fun new clothes, and she wears Koda's old gym shorts?!? She has them on again today because ~ "they are the most comfortable thing to wear when I play football and basketball!" She is her very own little person, and I have to admire her for that.Yesterday Bailia skipped to the car, totally beaming. She started talking as soon as she opened the door, and I don't think she took a breath in the five minutes that she told us about her day.
The most exciting part of her day? She stayed after class to talk to Mrs. P about the Raptor Romp~coming up in October! The day before, at lunch, Bailia and her friends were talking about who would dance with who at the Raptor Romp. One of the boys said to Kyler why don't you just dance with Bailia? He said that he wanted to~which MADE Bailia's day! So after class yesterday she asked Mrs. P if her and Kyler could be partners. Mrs. P told Bailia that she doesn't let people pick who they want, but since nobody would know, she will pair them together! She is SO excited and is now on the countdown for October! 
After school yesterday Koda was SO happy to see me, which obviously MADE my day! He loved everything about school, but mostly his teacher. He said (in a matter of fact tone) Out of all of the class, I am her favorite. Really? I asked. Did she tell you this? No, I can just tell. She hugged me three times today, there is a kid in my class that will never stop talking so he got in trouble, but I didn't, and recess was really hot, I think like one hundred and something, but tomorrow it will be even hotter! I think I will sweat to death.So what was your favorite part of the day? I don't know, but I get more time at lunch because I have home lunch and don't have to wait in line, and I ate my main dish first and then the rest of my lunch, and I still had twenty minutes to play . . . In other words he had an AWESOME day!
This morning while getting ready Koda wanted to wear his Puma's, with gray shorts, and a hot pink polo. If anyone can pull off pink, it is Koda! He had to have his picture taken because he looked "so nice, and make sure you post it on the blog today when I'm at school mom!"
Bailia's day couldn't have gone any better. She has already decided that she wants to be held back, because she loves her teacher SO much! She went on and on about all of the things they talked about, and are going to get to do this year. She is in heaven!This morning while getting ready to get in the shower she said, I think I looked really cute yesterday, but I can't play basketball very good in cute clothes and shoes. I said that's fine, you can wear your sneakers today. After she got out of the shower I went in to do her hair and saw her in this outfit . . .She had gone into Koda's gym clothes drawer and pulled out a pair of his shorts and grabbed one of her tops. It isn't what I would pick, but she is, no doubt about it, her own person! Plus I think she still looks adorable!
On to my Big Dog, or as I was told yesterday~The biggest fish in the pond! He had such a great day! He has said at least a half of a dozen times now~This is going to a great year mom, or I can tell this is going to be the best year ever!He is happy with his teacher, he is already friends with most of his classmates, and he is so glad to be back in school!This morning as we were getting ready to leave, I had my camera in hand because I had just taken Bailia's picture. I walked around the corner and saw Jdog reading one of Bailia's books, again. I snapped a picture and he said you better not post that!I had bought her a few books on different subjects like, A Sister's Guide to Getting Along, which he read and is actually trying to get along with his brother and sister better!This morning he was reading, Stand Up for Yourself & Your Friends. I think it is so cute that he wants to try to better himself, even if it does embarrass him! You are such a good boy Jdog, I love you SO much!
Bailia made grandpa a cute card to go with his big gallon of wine that we bought for him-it said-I hope you have a great birthday with lots of wine! She always comes up with the funniest things! We hope you had a very Happy Birthday old man! We love you!
My hands are still sweating, my heart is still pounding, my body is still shaking, and my head is still throbbing, but I tell myself the worst is over. Well, at least I hope it is.
I took the kids to the first day of school this morning, proud of myself that I only cried once. I can't believe how big they are getting.
Then I got home, and it hit me. Hard. I had a good cry, and with a few words from one of my best friends, I got through it. I will be fine, it will just take time.
I'm not ready for this "stage" in my life. I feel like I am losing a piece of my identity, and I don't like it. For the past 3678 days, everything that I am, want to be, and will become, has revolved around my children. I didn't plan it this way, it just happened.
Adam and I honestly thought that IF we actually were able to have babies it would take a lot of time, prayers, and medical intervention. Just before getting married I had gone to the Dr. & he had told me that my ovaries didn't look good, and that there were so many cysts covering them they could hardly make out an ovary, and with all of the other drama my body creates, children didn't seem likely.
So when we found out we were having a honeymoon baby, we were thrilled. When Jaden came I didn't want to let him go. I wanted to be there for every single moment. Then we found out we were pregnant with Bailia when Jdog was only five months old! I was on birth control and breast feeding, it was a shock, but we figured she must really need to get here. Then Bailia was a year and a half, Jaden two and a half when we found out we were pregnant with Koda.
After delivering Koda, the Dr informed me that my baby days were over. Koda would be my last. Even though I wanted more, I am SO grateful that I have my three babies. I think that God knew that I needed to have these babies to help me become the person I want to be.
Some would say that I have lost "who I am" since becoming a mom. I disagree, I am "who I am" because I am a momma.
I can count on one hand how many times my kids have gone to sleep without their mom with them. Jaden has been left the most because two of those nights I had to deliver his brother & sister, but he doesn't remember it. I had to stay overnight in the hospital after my hysterectomy, and I left for two nights when I won the trip to San Fransisco from Oprah, but I felt okay knowing Adam was with them. That's how obsessive I am with my kids. I worry everyday, about everything, about nothing. It is what it is, and it doesn't look like that will change anytime soon.
People have always asked if I will go back to work when all of the kids are in school. The answer has always been no, and now that they are all in school, the answer is still no. I still have a full time job as a mom. I will volunteer at the kids school at least three days a week. Not to mention as soon as the kids jump in the car at 3:30, I will be living in there until 8:00 every night, Monday through Friday. Driving the kids to and fro.
Between two days a week of golf, five (three for J, two for sis, and one for Koda) days a week at gym, two days a week at piano, plus activity days, soccer practice & games, homework, piano practice, school projects, golf tournaments, and gymnastics competitions, I think I may have lost my mind somewhere. But apparently the courts haven't heard the news that I am a loony toon, since I have been summoned for jury duty next week. Oh the joys!
But that is okay. I do what I do because I want my kids to be happy, productive, helpful, kind, and thoughtful individuals. I want them to pursue the things that they want to, and figure out the person that they want to become. I want them to go full force with every opportunity that comes their way, whether they succeed, or fail, they will become a better person for it.
In time, I am hoping that by having a little bit of "me" time will help me become a better, more patient momma. As for now,I will try and make it through the first day, then the first week, and then the first month without breaking down and crying too often . . .
